Hhh... Exams are over but a new terror has arrived O___O
I'll be doing my SAT I on December 6, and then TOEFL on the 13th (Papa's birthday--so it's both YAY! and NOOOOO!). To prepare for it, I bought myself a Barron's SAT book (2009--24th Edition), and just yesterday (Oopsies :D) I got around to doing the Diagnostic Test. I was so happy when I found that I'd gotten 2000 on my first ever SAT!!! *fanfare and carnival music*
Just today I went and did the first SAT test and got a 1720 D': so apparently their Diagnostic Test isn't exactly a good indication of what the SAT would be like. Granted, I skipped the thousand or so pages that are supposed to teach me how to do the questions...
Is 1720 good? o___o America's national average is 1500, so I've got a little bit more. My area of concern is math :(((( I have a 540, but if I intend to get into a 'safe zone' with Wesleyan, I have to hit 600, which is their median math score... Nooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~*dies*
Speaking of Wesleyan! I did tons of research over the weekend, and I actually stumbled on an article that claims Wesleyan University is predominantly gay. O_____________O (Some other time I will explore my whole stance on homosexuality, but to be very brief, I think that it is wrong).
Please note at this point that I was reconfirmed in church this past Sunday (30th of November 2008), and already I am struck with a gigantic dilemma. I know I musn't place myself in a situation where I am outright testing my faith--I may not be ready for it. On the other hand, the vision and purpose of the Freeman Scholars program and Wesleyan's entire education seems to fit me so well... Oh dear! I actually got a hold of Reverend Joan Burnett, the resident Protestant Chaplain at Wesleyan, and asked her about it. She replied to me very quickly! :D So did Terri Overton, the person who gets to decide whether or not I make it in <3. There is a big possibility that only ONE student will be chosen from each of the 11 countries, as opposed to the two initially planned. I hope to keep in touch with Mrs. Overton so I know what happens...
Thinking about university depresses me. The only glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel is MelU! I -know-I would be well-suited there, with none of this disconcerting uncertainty. Oh dear. I really hope I get accepted in Wesleyan, but I know God has His ways, and I am willing to relinquish control and accept whatever outcome He allows. Oh dear... Make me patient, long-suffering, and able to persevere. :( I can imagine how disappointed I'd be. Oh dear!
I've done it again. I just keep messing myself up, don't I?
I really should be doing my World Lit 2 draft. Or my Bahasa Indonesia IOP.
In my defense I've been doing it since noon and deserve a break :3
On the other hand I really shouldn't have left my IOP to the last minute (my WL is nearly done :D). Heehee.
(By the way, I'm trying to stop using the word "anyway" as a transition between topics. Must learn to make things flow :3)
Yesterday I went to K's birthday party at a beautiful hotel in Kemang. I don't go to birthday parties very often, but K said this was a small dinner (which I prefer over big parties), and it would be my last chance to go out before exams start (NOOOOO!!!)
The food was so good <3>( I was talking to R about how people were beginning to develop hot ice cubes. Yes, yes, I know. Big contradiction there. Methinks they should hurry up and produce it because I am annoyed that my drinks and soups (and all hot food actually) are constantly going cold.
The other appetizer was Peking Duck served five different ways. In one I think they shredded the duck meat and mixed it with some salted duck-egg yolk, then put it back into the egg (the whites had been removed). There was also some duck meat that looked nicely browned but was a little dry for me. :0
The main course was not anything especially exotic. I ordered the tenderloin medium (but when it came out it was the same as J's well-done one. I was too lazy to complain.), and I have to say I didn't envy the people who got the salmon. Recently I've been having an aversion to potatoes--most probably because of all the mashed potatoes I ate from The Four Seasons this Friday. Nevertheless I finished the potatoes on my dish because I used them to scoop up the delicious sauce. <3>
Oh! I just checked out Wiki and morel is in fact a type of mushroom. :3 I want to go back to that restaurant and have that sauce again. Lol. It reminds me of a mushroom dish I had in Trattoria, which, in hindsight, tastes almost the same... Only it wasn't finely diced mushrooms.
The other thing about the morel sauce is that it wasn't creamy. (Lol)
I did something stupid at the party and got my pinky caught in the door. Right on the joint (I have to press the shift key with my ring finger now). Ouch. I can see some swelling and it's turning black. :( And then this morning at church, at the bakmi place a pot lid fell on its thin side right on top of my foot. Some swelling there too. D: So in my defense I did NOT hurt myself twice, but still. >__>
At the party I confided to J and also to S (who I didn't want to tell because she would have thought so little of me XD Lol) that I had seen an insanely cute guy in the Italian Embassy this past Friday. I was so giggly <3>
...
I'm remembering it <3
ANYWAYYY (In my defense, this is a good place to put it) I had fun last night. Everybody looked very nice and we took tons of pictures (I doubt I looked good in any of it, as per usual -____-) If I get pictures I'll put them up :3
Now, excuse me as I tackle my WL and IOP.
Call me morbid.
My heart has been bothering me for quite some time now. Once in a while I feel like it missed a beat and had to make up for it. For a few days now I have had very brief moments of sharp but small chest pain. My vertigo has been returning and I get dizzy when I turn around. Just now my heart was acting up (it was fluttery, but not really...)
Do I tell my mom? Or not? It could be nothing.
I'm not the least bit scared. I know how important my heart is, but I don't find myself at all worried. It bothers me, but not because I'm worried about what happens next. It's all very thanatos, you see.
Anyway, aside from that, I updated my profile on my actual Blogger page and also on the new and rather pretty spidersoncaffeine blog page. I'm so sad because I still don't know anything about coding :( I had in mind a very pretty layout but it seems like I'll never get to put it up. (D'awww....)
In other news, THE DEBATE COMPETITION IS OVER! I feel relieved and at the same time dissatisfied. At the closing ceremony I got to see how happy it made these other students when they received their trophies and certificates. There was a sense that I had accomplished something significant, and I loved making them so happy. The more selfish and proud side of me says I didn't do very well at all in the entire event and wants to blame other parties for how badly it went. But as you know writing things down gives you a sense of objectivity, so I know which voice to listen to. :) Our principal came up to me at the end of the day and thanked me for what I'd done. It made me so happy :3 I hope next year's will be even better!
A lot is happening this weekend, it seems. Tomorrow morning I have to wake up early and go practice for Sunday's service as I am going to be the worship leader. The topic on that day is "Christian Leaders". Basically, we're exploring the characteristics of a Christian Leader. I was initially very excited because I wanted to share what I could from my presidential (insert march music here :D) position in the school. And then I thought about it more and more, and it became so intimidating.
I realized that I'm not trying to get them to think I am the good Christian leader, but rather I am inviting them to learn together with me what it means to be a Christian leader. In the end I constructed the whole service based around the idea that whatever traits need to be present in a Christian leader can be found in people only because God has helped them. The focus is on the Lord! :3
Wish me luck. I'm too sleepy to add more.
Oh! I got K a pink (what else?) purse to give to her tomorrow. I hope she likes it. :)
Ahahaha! I can't believe I forgot. One more thing.
This morning we all woke up early because we had to get our Schengen Visa from the Italian Embassy. It was so cool because my dad was friends with an Italian person who had connections, so that the Vice Consul himself came to meet us. Of course it's still the same procedure and everything. :) As far as I know, that's not corruption, but I might be wrong? Anyhow, we are getting our visa in ten days' time.
After the Italian Embassy we went over to the Four Seasons for lunch <3>___<
I loved the baked portobello mushrooms (my appetizer). My only complaint is that the cheese they put on it tasted a bit strong. Then again my preference is for a more subtle, deeper flavor as opposed to very strong ones. The steak was also very good. :) Papa ordered an extra small sidedish of (more) baked mushrooms, which were different but even better. I had been looking forward to my dessert, but it wasn't anything too special. *sigh*
One thing that came out of lunch at the Four Seasons was the baguette we brought home. I'd had baguettes before but we weren't used to buying any. Unfortunately I waited too long, so by the time I decided to cut it earlier tonight it was beginning to get soggy and the crust was no longer crunchy. (D'aww...) It makes me want real French freshly baked baguettes!
Aduh, my tummy is making sounds.
I'm going away now to print lyrics and chords for tomorrow's practice. And then it's off to sleep :3 Goodnight~
Today has been a hectic day!
It's the end of the Group 4 Project (not like it was a very big deal in the first place...), but I'm a lot more concerned about tomorrow's Debate Competition.
My sister has just had a spat with her friend and will not be procee
ding in the debate, it seems. It has been a little while since their outburst over the phone and I, for one, feel like crap, so I have a slight idea of how she might be feeling. But then again maybe not.
It all boils down to this--my conscience or her happiness. Her team's absence and disqualification from the competition (or their resignation) means a chance for this team that, one way or another, I wronged with my rushed judgment. After long talks it was decided that no, they would not proceed in the competition, but they were first in the list should a spot become available in the next round.
So now I feel like crap because some part of me is saying You idiot. You MADE this happen, and the part of me that is no less guilty or innocent says I had no control over this.
This whole competition is turning out to be a lot of grief. This is what happens when I don't turn over what I do to God. :( I know how easily and quickly it goes awry. I've been here before and I didn't learn from it. Hopefully next year's Debate Committee will.
In other, less depressing news: My mother has noticed that I've been a little tired lately, so she put a couple of bottles of Brand's Chicken Essence in my room. She reminded me to take one today, and I was faced with the choice of ordinary chicken essence or the fancier sounding "Essence of Chicken--with Cordyceps". On the box is a weird pic of what seems to be a grid of blood vessels over roots that have been packed together...Or muscles that have atrophied at the ends.
(One of the days when I wish I took Bio)
Anyway, my interest was piqued, so I turned to Wiki and was effectively freaked out >___<
Initially I thought that I'd heard of Cordyceps before, and I was right. It was in DamnInteresting (which, by the way, I am now very disappointed with. Updates please!), and basically Cordyceps are a type of mind-controlling fungi. In my heart of hearts I am glad I'm not a Darwinist or an evolutionist, because otherwise it means that somewhere out there, there is a variation of the Cordyceps fungi waiting to nibble on my noddle. *shiver*
Anyhow, I am very, very tired today -______-
Unfortunately I can't remember what made me stay up so late last night. Hhh. What a waste of time. I must stop mood-swinging. It makes me come across as a cold, uncaring person. o___o I do care (the guilt is returning), but it seems to be so very hard for me to focus on it for too long.
On my mind right now is the Debate Competition, guilt, my James Joyce and "Death of a Salesman" homework and also a new idea for an artwork <3
Ta-ta :3
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