SAT and TOEFL

Hhh... Exams are over but a new terror has arrived O___O

I'll be doing my SAT I on December 6, and then TOEFL on the 13th (Papa's birthday--so it's both YAY! and NOOOOO!). To prepare for it, I bought myself a Barron's SAT book (2009--24th Edition), and just yesterday (Oopsies :D) I got around to doing the Diagnostic Test. I was so happy when I found that I'd gotten 2000 on my first ever SAT!!! *fanfare and carnival music*

Just today I went and did the first SAT test and got a 1720 D': so apparently their Diagnostic Test isn't exactly a good indication of what the SAT would be like. Granted, I skipped the thousand or so pages that are supposed to teach me how to do the questions...

Is 1720 good? o___o America's national average is 1500, so I've got a little bit more. My area of concern is math :(((( I have a 540, but if I intend to get into a 'safe zone' with Wesleyan, I have to hit 600, which is their median math score... Nooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~*dies*

Speaking of Wesleyan! I did tons of research over the weekend, and I actually stumbled on an article that claims Wesleyan University is predominantly gay. O_____________O (Some other time I will explore my whole stance on homosexuality, but to be very brief, I think that it is wrong).

Please note at this point that I was reconfirmed in church this past Sunday (30th of November 2008), and already I am struck with a gigantic dilemma. I know I musn't place myself in a situation where I am outright testing my faith--I may not be ready for it. On the other hand, the vision and purpose of the Freeman Scholars program and Wesleyan's entire education seems to fit me so well... Oh dear! I actually got a hold of Reverend Joan Burnett, the resident Protestant Chaplain at Wesleyan, and asked her about it. She replied to me very quickly! :D So did Terri Overton, the person who gets to decide whether or not I make it in <3. There is a big possibility that only ONE student will be chosen from each of the 11 countries, as opposed to the two initially planned. I hope to keep in touch with Mrs. Overton so I know what happens...

Thinking about university depresses me. The only glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel is MelU! I -know-I would be well-suited there, with none of this disconcerting uncertainty. Oh dear. I really hope I get accepted in Wesleyan, but I know God has His ways, and I am willing to relinquish control and accept whatever outcome He allows. Oh dear... Make me patient, long-suffering, and able to persevere. :( I can imagine how disappointed I'd be. Oh dear!

I've done it again. I just keep messing myself up, don't I?