Today has been a hectic day!
It's the end of the Group 4 Project (not like it was a very big deal in the first place...), but I'm a lot more concerned about tomorrow's Debate Competition.
My sister has just had a spat with her friend and will not be procee
ding in the debate, it seems. It has been a little while since their outburst over the phone and I, for one, feel like crap, so I have a slight idea of how she might be feeling. But then again maybe not.
It all boils down to this--my conscience or her happiness. Her team's absence and disqualification from the competition (or their resignation) means a chance for this team that, one way or another, I wronged with my rushed judgment. After long talks it was decided that no, they would not proceed in the competition, but they were first in the list should a spot become available in the next round.
So now I feel like crap because some part of me is saying You idiot. You MADE this happen, and the part of me that is no less guilty or innocent says I had no control over this.
This whole competition is turning out to be a lot of grief. This is what happens when I don't turn over what I do to God. :( I know how easily and quickly it goes awry. I've been here before and I didn't learn from it. Hopefully next year's Debate Committee will.
In other, less depressing news: My mother has noticed that I've been a little tired lately, so she put a couple of bottles of Brand's Chicken Essence in my room. She reminded me to take one today, and I was faced with the choice of ordinary chicken essence or the fancier sounding "Essence of Chicken--with Cordyceps". On the box is a weird pic of what seems to be a grid of blood vessels over roots that have been packed together...Or muscles that have atrophied at the ends.
(One of the days when I wish I took Bio)
Anyway, my interest was piqued, so I turned to Wiki and was effectively freaked out >___<
Initially I thought that I'd heard of Cordyceps before, and I was right. It was in DamnInteresting (which, by the way, I am now very disappointed with. Updates please!), and basically Cordyceps are a type of mind-controlling fungi. In my heart of hearts I am glad I'm not a Darwinist or an evolutionist, because otherwise it means that somewhere out there, there is a variation of the Cordyceps fungi waiting to nibble on my noddle. *shiver*
Anyhow, I am very, very tired today -______-
Unfortunately I can't remember what made me stay up so late last night. Hhh. What a waste of time. I must stop mood-swinging. It makes me come across as a cold, uncaring person. o___o I do care (the guilt is returning), but it seems to be so very hard for me to focus on it for too long.
On my mind right now is the Debate Competition, guilt, my James Joyce and "Death of a Salesman" homework and also a new idea for an artwork <3
Ta-ta :3
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